February 10, 2005

• Wow, what an entry I could make. I thought about so many different things on my car ride home from Lindsay's house tonight. It suprises me how much I like Lindsay, and how much I am truely comfortable around her. I hate to keep bringing up Amanda, but I haven't been able to be that cool with a girl since her. That is a huge step for me, because for so long I have been jaded. I usually distance myself greatly from girls, but I feel so close to Lindsay. Probably why I'm falling for her so fast. This though does scare me. She is taken. Boyfriend of 9 months. I know she really cares for him, and possibly even is in love with him. So, it scares me sometimes that maybe I will never get the chance I want. Then again, I think it is best to be just the way we are for awhile. Though I do get impatient. It is a vicious cycle in which I cannot make up my mind. I just know in the end I want to be with Lindsay. No doubt about that. I just want to hold her close, snuggle, and kiss her on the lips when I leave. We have so much fun together, and I've never had this much fun being with a girl I'm never bored, and we always have something to do. I feel true compassion from her. I feel like she really does care about me, and that is so rare because it takes me a very long time to feel that. To say I feel something different about her would be a huge DUH! cuz everyone feels something different about every different person. I just hope for something good. Though as people have told me, because she is young. It is doomed to end, because she will eventually want to see other people. Which I have come to accept. Just hope that I even just get a shot, and if I do and it comes to that. Well, hopefully she'll come back. Heh. I'm putting way to much thought into all of this. I'm really sad she is leaving in 5 days or so. I know she is very excited about going, because she will get to see her b/f. I hope she has an awesome trip. I'll miss her back here though. :sigh: I wish I could make things different. Though no matter what happens I leave with this quote by me:

  
  

  "May not work out the way I want it to, but it will work out for the best."

  • 11:59 pm
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